There. I said it. It was hard for me to even acknowledge this in the first place.
I also want you to know what happens during this process in no particular random order short of my own incessant ramblings……
1. The stages of grief are a myth. You will bounce around all of them at any given time. So, don’t even try and gauge a damn thing. Oh, and the littlest things are going to set you off too.
2. The veil between the living and dead becomes less than paper thin if you are grieving someone who has died. I plan on going more in depth with this one in the future too. You exist in a rabbit hole and learn how to adapt.
3. Material things don’t matter after that. Case in point, I need to get new flooring in a couple of rooms in my house as I type this. I have the money and the time to do it. However, I really don’t care about new floors. New floors won’t improve me or make my life any more meaningful. A person’s fabulous floors are not what you remember about them after they are gone. Perfect floors won’t protect your heart from being shattered into a million pieces.
4. You figure out that a majority of the population walks around kinda oblivious to this life. Then, trauma happens, and it will jerk the breathe out of them. Once it happens, nothing, and I mean nothing is the same ever again. Air and light are even different and you stop taking the little things for granted.
5. Watching the ones you love grieve as well is hell on Earth. I will explain later as to why.